Unlucky Alf

Unlucky Alf is a fictional character from the Fast Show, played by Paul Whitehouse.

Alf has plenty of luck; all of it bad. His attempt at dating was truncated several times: by a bird relieving itself; by a truck splashing him with mud; by an incident with the lady's cat; and finally, with the lady's demise before he could arrive.

His house once became an electrical death trap. He once predicted he would fall in a hole at the end of the road, and after some walk, actually did.

He once took a stroll, greeted by his town's inhabitants cheerfully. When he turned back to get his wallet, he found them having an anti-Alf party, complete with vicar urinating on his door.

His catchphrase is 'With my luck...' and at the conclusion of the sketch, '...oh, bugger.'  He is a northerner.