Checkout Girl

Your basic shopping nightmare - as your supermarket purchases wobble along the conveyor belt, the checkout girl picks them up and comments on them:

'''Ribbed condoms? Very thoughtful.

'Microwave meal for one. Live on your own? Awwwww.'

(picking up haemorrhoid cream) ''' 'Johnny Giles, Johnny Giles, Johnny Giles. That's two fifty eight, love.