The Fast Show Wiki

I'm a geezer i'll nick anything.

You can't trust Chris He's a little bit werrrr, a little bit weyyyyyy, a little bit arrrrgggh. He's a geezer. He'll nick anything.

...Which includes his mate's takings from the market stall Chris is minding, a taxi and a little girl's Christmas presents.

To be fair though, it's not as though he doesn't warn people. The pony-tailed, sportwear-attired Crafty Cockney always tells his victims that he's dodgy before he makes off with their possessions.